Lesson #88 Sex and Waiting

Sex is a crucial area of Christian singleness. Sex is so crucial because it is so intimately related to who we are. And it’s the area in which many single believers find their biggest struggle…

In 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, Paul discussed sex outside of marriage. The bottom line of his argument was that sex outside of the marriage covenant is sin and is totally contrary to God’s agenda for single believers. That bedrock truth never changes in any culture or any setting.

Paul was arguing that sexual purity outside of marriage is demanded because of God the Father, it’s expected because of God the Son, and it’s possible because of God the Spirit. Some Christian singles falter in this area because they lose sight of the theology and limit themselves to the anthropology involved…

In other words, whenever you hear someone saying, “But I’m only human,” that’s an anthropological argument. But as I will argue later on in this chapter, if you are a believer you are more than just a human. You are a saved human, and you have God’s power for purity resident within you.

Some people say sex is like food. When you’re hungry, you eat. No big deal. But Paul answered that in 1 Corinthians 6:13. The stomach may be for food, he said, “yet the body is not for immorality.” (my emphasis)

If your date tells you he washed his car and bought a new suit for this date and expects something more than a good night at the door, tell him, “You washed your car? Ok, I will help you put the dirt back on your car. And you bought a new suit? I’ll go with you while you take it back.” You are far too valuable to be used by undisciplined men for their gratification.

God created your body to be used for His glory, not simply to satisfy either your own or someone else’s passion unless it is within the proper functioning of marriage…

See, God does not condemn sex outside of marriage because sex is bad. he condemns sex outside of marriage because it’s so good when used properly within marriage.

You say, “Wait a minute, preacher. Let’s get practical. I have the same passions as married people. Where do you expect me to get the ability to control my normal passions?” From God the Father. Christian singles have the same power available to them that God used when He raised Christ from the dead.

So a single person’s ability, or lack thereof, to control his or her sexuality has to do with the lack of accessing God’s power. It has nothing to do with the level of a person’s passions…

Sex outside marriage is so destructive because it is far more than a physical act between two people. There is a spiritual union that takes place when two people engage in sexual intercourse. It is like a marriage in terms of the intimacy, but it is deadly because there is no marital commitment to cement the union…

So if sex is simply an act of temporary gratification, when the two people pull away from each other, a part of their spirit tears away and remains with the other person.

And for the Christian, there’s more. Because we are joined to Christ, whatever we do sexually, we bring Jesus in on. So Paul’s question was, “Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? may it never be!” (v. 15).

Sex outside of marriage for a believer is such a damaging sin because our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (see v. 19). And Paul had warned earlier, “If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are” (1 Corinthians 3:17).

A person who engages in sex outside marriage is like a man who robs a bank. He gets what he wants in a hurry, but when it catches up with him he has to pay for it a long time.

But the morally pure single is a depositor in the bank. She keeps saving and gaining interest so that when it comes time to make a withdrawal she can enjoy her life’s savings.

Single Christian, if you want to have a sexual “savings account” to draw on in marriage, don’t spend what you have now. If your kingdom commitment is to remain abstinent, Paul gave you the solution to sexual compromise: “Flee immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18). The Greek means “vamoose, bye-bye, get out of there.” Flee to the Lord, and wait for Him. He has the kingdom plan for sex.

Lesson by Arlee Turner